On January 6th, 2024, I published the sapphic fantasy romance novel A Demon’s Name Upon Your Lips. And that should have been the end of the story.
Instead, it’s the beginning of my next major creative project, one I intend to share with you.
A Long Way to a Small, Angry Book
(with apologies to Becky Chambers — you’re such an amazing writer!)
(This section goes into a lot of detail; I’ll try to summarize it at the beginning of the next section)
The story began twenty months earlier, in November of 2022. I came up with the kernel of the idea that became A Demon’s Name; the tag line on the novel, “The Count of Monte Cristo meets… her wife?” sums up one half of the pitch. The other half? Our Count would be meeting her future wife by summoning her as a demon, binding her to fulfill a dastardly plan for vengeance.
I was discussing the idea with my good friend Chris. I said that it would be a kickass novel. Chris responded… well, you should write it, then.
And you know what? I did.
The first draft of 63,000 words was complete about 6 weeks later; while rather short, it still represented both the longest and, in my mind, the most complete novel-length project I’d ever attempted. After I finished the novel (having built a small fantasy world for it, reminiscent of Victorian England with a lot, though not all, of the systemic injustices sanded off), I took a break. I figured I’d come back to it in a month or so, polish off the rough bits, and then look into this “self-publishing” thing that couldn’t be that hard, right?
I came back to the manuscript, right on schedule. It seemed… fine, though the beginning felt a lot stronger than the end. Something felt off about the pacing. I realized I needed a second pair of eyes on it, so I used some of my savings to contract an editor to give it a read-through. She fit it into her schedule—two weeks in March of 2023—and gave the manuscript a deep read.
And she came back with so many suggestions for improvement. While the moment to moment prose was on the whole decent, the overall structure of the story needed rethinking. I recall quite well many of her diagnoses, and followed them to the letter. Structure, pacing, character motivation; all of these were gently, tenderly eviscerated with excellent advice on how to strengthen them. Over the course of the next two months I edited, revised, cut scenes, added scenes, changed scenes. The whole back half of the book was basically rewritten; perhaps one tenth of that portion kept the same words as in the first draft.
But there was one piece of advice that stuck with me, not because I followed it, but because I didn’t.
You know, your writing style for this book would work so much better in first person.
I bristled at that, at first. I chose third person as the more immersive option. It was, after all, the perspective of choice in the high and holy realm of Fantasy Literature, a realm I longed to join. I reasoned my main character Lucia’s voice was strong enough to shine through a third person narration. Third person was perfectly fine, thank you!
Plus, well, it would be a lot of work to shift point-of-view from she to I…
I finished the draft in the summer of 2023 and then moved on to other projects. I had a sequel idea brewing already, and in August I started in on that draft. (A project I’ve yet to publish… but that novel also has fundamental problems I’m not sure I’ve fully diagnosed. Yet!)
I worked through the process of self publishing. And hey! It was hard! It was a lot of work, even after I finalized all the words. I got some amazing cover art from QueenZora. I created the .ePub, the .mobi, the .PDF. And finally, on January 6th, 2024, I clicked “publish”.
But that final bit of advice still pulled on the corner of my memory.
…this book would work so much better in first person…
A Winding Path to a New Project
So I published A Demon’s Name Upon Your Lips. It enjoyed some small success… well, more than one person bought it. I knew marketing wasn’t my strength—not remotely!—so I wasn’t expecting anything like a career from this. I’d managed my expectations accordingly. I simply wanted the book out there. That was enough for me.
But my editor’s advice—that I should change the perspective to first person—wouldn’t leave the back of my mind.
I went on to write a sapphic novella, this time in close first person POV, and got it published by a wonderful micro-press. I wrote another sapphic novella in close first person POV (hopefully forthcoming!) I continued to write poetry, short stories, bouncing between points-of-view as I developed my own writing style.
And you know what I discovered?
I love writing first person. So much more than third! And that came with another, rather belated, realization.
This novel, A Demon’s Name Upon Your Lips, deserves to be told in that style.
So here’s what I’m going to do.
Every so often—perhaps every week, every two weeks, or whenever I can—I’ll edit a chapter of the final draft manuscript, transferring it to first person perspective. And in so doing, I’ll also try to elevate the language, really make every line sing. All that fun stuff!
And every chapter I revise, I’ll post here for free, to read.
I’ll also include commentary: Why did I make this change? What’s going on in this scene? What was I thinking?
Maybe a similar number of people will read this version. Maybe many more will. I just want this book out there, because I fell in love with the story, and it deserves to be told well.
Perhaps… I dare to wonder. Perhaps you’ll fall in love with it, too.
a demon’s rewrite
On January 6th, 2024, I published the sapphic fantasy romance novel A Demon’s Name Upon Your Lips. And that should have been the end of the story.
Instead, it’s the beginning of my next major creative project, one I intend to share with you.
A Long Way to a Small, Angry Book
(This section goes into a lot of detail; I’ll try to summarize it at the beginning of the next section)
The story began twenty months earlier, in November of 2022. I came up with the kernel of the idea that became A Demon’s Name; the tag line on the novel, “The Count of Monte Cristo meets… her wife?” sums up one half of the pitch. The other half? Our Count would be meeting her future wife by summoning her as a demon, binding her to fulfill a dastardly plan for vengeance.
I was discussing the idea with my good friend Chris. I said that it would be a kickass novel. Chris responded… well, you should write it, then.
And you know what? I did.
The first draft of 63,000 words was complete about 6 weeks later; while rather short, it still represented both the longest and, in my mind, the most complete novel-length project I’d ever attempted. After I finished the novel (having built a small fantasy world for it, reminiscent of Victorian England with a lot, though not all, of the systemic injustices sanded off), I took a break. I figured I’d come back to it in a month or so, polish off the rough bits, and then look into this “self-publishing” thing that couldn’t be that hard, right?
I came back to the manuscript, right on schedule. It seemed… fine, though the beginning felt a lot stronger than the end. Something felt off about the pacing. I realized I needed a second pair of eyes on it, so I used some of my savings to contract an editor to give it a read-through. She fit it into her schedule—two weeks in March of 2023—and gave the manuscript a deep read.
And she came back with so many suggestions for improvement. While the moment to moment prose was on the whole decent, the overall structure of the story needed rethinking. I recall quite well many of her diagnoses, and followed them to the letter. Structure, pacing, character motivation; all of these were gently, tenderly eviscerated with excellent advice on how to strengthen them. Over the course of the next two months I edited, revised, cut scenes, added scenes, changed scenes. The whole back half of the book was basically rewritten; perhaps one tenth of that portion kept the same words as in the first draft.
But there was one piece of advice that stuck with me, not because I followed it, but because I didn’t.
You know, your writing style for this book would work so much better in first person.
I bristled at that, at first. I chose third person as the more immersive option. It was, after all, the perspective of choice in the high and holy realm of Fantasy Literature, a realm I longed to join. I reasoned my main character Lucia’s voice was strong enough to shine through a third person narration. Third person was perfectly fine, thank you!
Plus, well, it would be a lot of work to shift point-of-view from she to I…
I finished the draft in the summer of 2023 and then moved on to other projects. I had a sequel idea brewing already, and in August I started in on that draft. (A project I’ve yet to publish… but that novel also has fundamental problems I’m not sure I’ve fully diagnosed. Yet!)
I worked through the process of self publishing. And hey! It was hard! It was a lot of work, even after I finalized all the words. I got some amazing cover art from QueenZora. I created the .ePub, the .mobi, the .PDF. And finally, on January 6th, 2024, I clicked “publish”.
But that final bit of advice still pulled on the corner of my memory.
…this book would work so much better in first person…
A Winding Path to a New Project
So I published A Demon’s Name Upon Your Lips. It enjoyed some small success… well, more than one person bought it. I knew marketing wasn’t my strength—not remotely!—so I wasn’t expecting anything like a career from this. I’d managed my expectations accordingly. I simply wanted the book out there. That was enough for me.
But my editor’s advice—that I should change the perspective to first person—wouldn’t leave the back of my mind.
I went on to write a sapphic novella, this time in close first person POV, and got it published by a wonderful micro-press. I wrote another sapphic novella in close first person POV (hopefully forthcoming!) I continued to write poetry, short stories, bouncing between points-of-view as I developed my own writing style.
And you know what I discovered?
I love writing first person. So much more than third! And that came with another, rather belated, realization.
This novel, A Demon’s Name Upon Your Lips, deserves to be told in that style.
So here’s what I’m going to do.
Every so often—perhaps every week, every two weeks, or whenever I can—I’ll edit a chapter of the final draft manuscript, transferring it to first person perspective. And in so doing, I’ll also try to elevate the language, really make every line sing. All that fun stuff!
And every chapter I revise, I’ll post here for free, to read.
I’ll also include commentary: Why did I make this change? What’s going on in this scene? What was I thinking?
Maybe a similar number of people will read this version. Maybe many more will. I just want this book out there, because I fell in love with the story, and it deserves to be told well.
Perhaps… I dare to wonder. Perhaps you’ll fall in love with it, too.
Come with me, will you?